To recap, I came to New Jersey about three weeks ago to cook for Sherilyn and Lorin (usually this is where I become rude and tell all the lazy bastards who don't know who they are to look it up, but I have a lot of new readers lately, so I'll be polite for once and tell you to pretty please read all my past blogs to catch up on the story arc, that's right, ALL OF THEM, YOU NEW LAZY BASTARDS!). The goal was to show them that paleo eating doesn't mean a death sentence on flavor. When most people hear they're about to go on a diet without salt, sugar, wheat, beans, peanuts, dairy, or almost every single thing they've ever bought in a store from a box, jar, or can, they say, "What else is there?!!!" But I'm here to tell you folks, "Dieting Does Not Mean Deprivation!" You like my new catch phrase? Yeah, me too. Thanks to Christina from christinadoeslife.com for the inspiration.
Anyway, you can read for yourself in the last few weeks of blogs how Lorin and Sherilyn adapted to their new lifestyle. Lorin took a little more time than Sherilyn, who really went for it. At first, she just enjoyed my cooking. First I took her shopping and showed her how to read labels, because just 'cause it says organic, doesn't mean salt or other nasty things haven't been added. Remember, the less ingredients on a label, the better! Then we started out by me making her breakfast every morning. She likes to have eggs for breakfast (as do I), so we stocked up on organic, Omega-3 rich eggs! I cooked her over easy eggs in olive oil (all ingredients, all organic, all the time) with different herbs and spices. One day it was fresh thyme and rosemary, another day it was fresh basil and black pepper. She couldn't believe how adding just a few fresh herbs adds so much flavor to an otherwise ordinary dish. Even the laziest cook can add a few sprinkles of some herbs and feel like a top chef! Then I started making her omelettes like a kale and mushroom omelette (with fresh thyme and black pepper), and using some leftovers, a guacamole omelette (great combination, eggs and guac!)! By the second week, she was making her own breakfasts, the way she liked them (like I said, if people are gonna stay on the paleo diet, they're gonna have to make THEIR favorite dishes, not mine), using nothing but organic ingredients. She used to use the cheapest eggs and spray on PAM every morning. That's like taking the fat from a sick diseased chicken and frying it in chemicals. In fact, that's not what it's like, it's what it is! Still hungry? Yuck! Now, she was eating fresh, healthy eggs, bright and beautiful, laid by healthy happy hens, free of antibiotics and growth hormones, that are rich in Omega-3 fat, which is probably the healthiest thing on earth (as far as humans go), and frying them in oil made from pesticide and chemical free organically grown olives. Now I bet you're hungry!
Sherilyn started creating her own caveman dishes, based on her favorites. One day I made her my walnut bread, with fresh rosemary. She liked it, but when I bought grass fed ground beef, she made her own bread with sesame seeds so she could have a sesame seed bun for her burger! One day for lunch she made tuna (wild caught), added yummy organic things like red onion and celery, mixed it with my caveman mayo, and made a bread that I will be making VERY SOON! What she did was take organic dry minced onion, and lightly browned it with a touch of olive oil, and then mixed it into the bread batter, as well as sprinkling it on top before baking. It came out like an onion roll! Old time Jews from NY (like me) know this better as onion board, but I figured I'd gentile it up for you non-Yids. It was OUTRAGEOUSLY DELICIOUS! She was really becoming a cave girl! She took over dinner duties from me, and the last couple of nights, she made her own delicious fauxghetti and meat sauce, and a great chicken dinner salad with homemade honey mustard dressing that I taught her to make after she tasted my kale salad from the other night. You remember the kale salad, right? No? Jeez, do I have to do everything for you people?! Here:
Here's her chicken dinner salad with chicken, cucumbers, baby romaine, walnuts, almonds, dates, and tomatoes, onions, mushrooms on the side:
She's even gotten into the whole presentation and picture taking! Sherilyn has now graduated to the next step, and it's time for her to fly on her own, re-creating her favorite comfort foods, by translating them into caveman cooking! I'm SO proud of her! I have no doubt she's going to continue to eat paleo, and I bet her weight starts to PLUMMET, as her health begins a METEORIC RISE! And I bet Lorin isn't too far behind. I'm glad, I love him, and I didn't really want him to die, I don't need his car that badly (callback, look it up).
Well, my work here is done. It's time for me to head back to LA, and get back on my own paleo wagon. NY always makes me bad, and in the last few days, BOY DID I CHEAT! I'll blog all about it next time for you foodies, and you caveman can live vicariously through me too. But after that, I've got some great ideas for my new zucchini pasta substitute. Coming up in the next few blogs will be caveman recreations of lasagna, rigatoni, cold sesame noodles (a Chinese food all time favorite of mine), and many more, as well as a redux of that amazing ramen from the other night! You're gonna wanna stay tuned for these recipes, folks. After reading about them, you'll be joining my sister Sherilyn in yelling, "Ugga-Bugga, I want to be a caveman too!"
I love you cave folk! Have a safe trip back!
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