Chicken Cacciatore

This was one of my signature dishes before I went Caveman.  Only I used to make it with about a pound of pasta.  I still eat pasta (as a major cheat, or organic pasta as a mini-cheat), but I'm about to go into a holiday weekend where I'll be eating everything and anything put in front of me, plus, my brother-in-law's in town so we'll be eating out tonight, and then there's a plan to meet a friend for pizza this week as well.  So I thought I'd make this dish, one of the tastiest and healthiest dishes I make, without the pasta, using those fresh ingredients from the farmers market I told you about yesterday, in order to squeeze at least one fully caveman meal into my week.  Besides, this happens to me every Monday, after a weekend of cheating and eating crap, I CRAVE caveman food again come Monday evening.

So since we're eliminating pasta, we're going to cook this very rustic style (by rustic I mean a tastier way of saying chunky, unless you're talking about a chocolate bar from the 1970's), with big chunks of everything so each bite will be hearty, and the pasta won't be missed (I'm lying, I miss pasta every day, but everything worth working for comes with a sacrifice).   First I browned the rest of my boneless skinless chicken breasts (I usually make this dish with thigh meat, but this is what I had in the freezer) in olive oil, and then removed them from the pan.  I cut up large pieces of brown onion, green and red bell peppers, and sauteed them in the same pan as the chicken, with all the juices and olive oil still in the pan, along with some minced garlic.

As that sweated, I boiled some water, made a couple of slits on each end of the roma tomatoes, and boiled them for a minute, transferring them to an ice bath afterwards to stop the cooking.  This helps the skin peel right off.  I then took my little old hands (clean of course, please use soap and water, not Purell, you filthy bastards), and crushed the tomatoes right into the pan with the veggies.  I threw in some organic baby bella mushrooms (all ingredients, all organic, all the time), and left them whole to stay with the chunky motif.  Then I added my spices.  I'm not sure when is the right time to add spices, but my usual rule is whenever I remember.  Sometimes I remember after I taste the finished dish, only to realize, it's not finished.  The spices I used were black pepper, crushed red pepper, fresh basil, thyme, and oregano (if I had parsley I'd add some, but I forgot to buy it, and I'm too much of a lazy bastard to go back to the store).  Be liberal, there is no salt in this recipe and you will miss it if you don't spice it up properly.

I added the chicken back in, along with any juices that ran clear while it cooled, and let it simmer for a while.  It was looking pretty soupy, so I added some tomato paste to thicken it up.  I let it cook for as long as I can before the smell becomes so irresistible I have to taste it!  My goal is 1-3 hours, but I rarely get past 40 minutes.  I love chicken when it is so tender it falls apart.  I love all meat when it's like that actually, pulled pork (a favorite among Jews), brisket, osso bucco, etc.  I served up a bowl, and enjoyed my dinner immensely.  Then I put the leftovers away, salivating at how it would taste the next day.  I don't know what magical equation happens to soups, stews, casseroles, etc, that makes them taste better the day after, but I'm all for it.  Plus, one of my favorite breakfasts are cold leftovers (cold Chinese food being a top choice), and let me tell you people, this Chicken Cacciatore didn't stand a chance of making it past noon today.  Gone by 9am!  Take a look for yourself.  My photography isn't as good as Eva's, but my tummy is full and happy nonetheless.

Mmmm, Caveman like Chicken Cacciatore!  Caveman like Italian food!  Il Cavernicolo comé mangia!  (How do you say "Ugga-Bugga" in Italian?)

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You Better Shop Around

Another thing that had intimidated me before starting the Caveman Diet was visiting a Farmers Market.  For some reason I thought, "That's not a place for me, I don't belong there.  People from Brooklyn do not visit Farmers Markets."  That's a mentality that I think has followed me around my whole life and has stopped me from trying new things.  I mean, I knew people in Brooklyn, that despite our proximity to Manhattan, had never even crossed the river!  Can you imagine never having the wonton soup at Wo Hop, when you're only 30 minutes away?  Inconceivable, but true.  But being on this diet (no, wonton soup is not on the caveman diet), has forced me to find alternate methods of shopping.  There's only so many places that sell organic food, although the industry is growing bigger and bigger everyday.  My local Ralph's (a moderately priced grocery store) has doubled the size of their organic produce section in just the last 6 months.  And I saw a report on CBS Sunday Morning that said the number of Farmers Markets in America have doubled in the last year!  And some of the best ones are in Brooklyn (there goes the neighborhood)!  Trader Joe's still has the best prices, but their selection is limited.  Whole Foods is great, but expensive (my friend Joe calls it, "Whole Paycheck").  Although they do have the best prices on canned and jarred organic products, like olive oil, canned wild tunafish, etc.  They're much cheaper than family owned health food stores, because they can buy in bulk.  Whole foods also has the best prices on meat, I'm guessing for the same reason.

But for produce, I like to hit the local farmers markets.  One, because you can usually find better prices than the stores (but not always, some farmers sell at extremely high prices, more than Whole Foods and Trader Joe's combined, so you have to compare and shop within the farmers markets themselves).  Two, because everything you're buying is IN SEASON, which is a big part of the paleo diet, since cavemen ALWAYS ate in season (they eat seasonal food in Italy as well, and they're the best fed people on the planet).  And finally because you know the food is extremely fresh!  I have a farmers market near me (in Burbank) , and I've narrowed down my shopping to a few farms that I trust, and have great prices as well.  I visit it almost every Saturday morning, and my haul looks like this:

Top left are a brown and red onion, top row are red and green bell peppers, with some weird skinny sweet Italian green pepper below the reds.  Grapes on the top right, which I will stick in the freezer (after never having one until last week, I am now officially addicted to frozen grapes).  Under the peppers, we have some sweet figs in season, and next to them some organic roma tomatoes, my favorite (I must have been Italian in another life)!  Under the tomatoes some carrots, a favorite snack.  On the bottom left is some dill and basil, then autumn apricots, and assorted plums, peaches, and nectarines, as the summer fruit winds down.  I think back to the Atkins Low Carb diet I was on for almost three years, where you couldn't eat fruit OR carrots!  I am so glad I have seen the light, and can enjoy a piece of fruit now and then!  No diet that says organic fruits and carrots are bad for you can be good for you.  I bring my haul home from the farmers market, rinse it all off and then let it dry on a familiar orange cloth (this photo sponsored by Sham-Wow, for all your drying needs).  Once dry, I stick them in Green Bags, which have saved my life.  No, these products are not real sponsors, but I must praise Green Bags for a moment.  They're made by the As Seen On TV brand (like the TV Magic cards I had as a kid, where every other card was the ace of spades), and they keep the produce fresh for about two weeks, or in some cases longer!  Without them, I'd have to go shopping every two days.  This diet already takes too much of my time, I'd go crazy if it took even more.  This way, I can shop for all my fruit and veggies for about two weeks worth.  I highly recommend them!

I'm going to use the tomatoes, brown onion, and peppers, to make Chicken Cacciatore tonight!  Farm fresh and yummy!  I may use the apricots and plums to make some kind of sauce later in the week, or I might just have them for dessert, I'll play it by ear.  The dill I will use in some salad dressings, and sandwiches, and the rest I'll use up eventually in something or other (must I plan EVERY meal right now for you people?!).  I'll also take some of the tomatoes and basil as a mid day snack, chopping it with garlic, olive oil, and black pepper and spreading it like bruschetta on some almond bread I accidentally burned the other day (oops, but still yummy), or just sliced with some olive oil, red onion, and spices drizzled over it, like this:

Delish!

So the intimidation of the farmers markets is now gone, and I've become quite the shopper.  By the way, bring cash, your ATM card will not work in a parking lot in Burbank.  They also don't take Visa, MasterCard, Amex, or Bank of Ugga-Bugga.

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Southern Fried Chicken and Golden Crusted Brussels Sprouts!

If I did have a choice for my last meal, I might very well choose fried chicken, collard greens, and macaroni and cheese.  I'm not having that tonight.  Then again I'm not going to the electric chair tonight either, so I have time.  But I did have some boneless skinless chicken cutlets defrosted (all ingredients, all organic, all the time), so I thought I would fry them with a recipe I found on-line.  Usually I use these cutlets for cheese-less chicken parmigiana, but I've been craving fried chicken lately.  And to go with them, I'm making one of my favorite side dishes since starting this diet.

My grandmother cooked a lot of cabbage when I was a kid, so I always liked brussels sprouts, but when I tried them this way, they shot way up on my favorite veggie list!  And it's real simple to make.  Cut the brussels sprouts in half from stem to top and toss them in some olive oil to coat.  Heat a little more olive oil in a skillet and place the brussels sprouts in the pan flat side down, cover and cook on medium heat for about 5 minutes until tender (they should show only a hint of browning).  Uncover and turn up the heat until the flat sides are deeply brown and caramelized.  Toss them once or twice to get some browning on the rounded leafy side too, while sprinkling with the Holy Trinity (there are infinite combinations of spices that would make this delicious as well, so get creative you lazy bastards).  Shouldn't take long until they're browned, so take 'em off the the heat and plate them.  I dare you to stop popping them in your mouth before they're all gone, causing you to serve your main dish solo.  They're definitely addicting!  I know people that hated brussels sprouts until they've had them this way.  Check it out:

Now on to the chicken.  Also simple.  Dip into some egg wash, and then dip into our dry mixture of arrowroot, almond flour, garlic powder, onion powder, black pepper, sage, thyme, paprika, and cayenne pepper to taste.  Let the breaded chicken sit for ten minutes so the breading will stick better (use this time to clean up a little).  Then into an oiled skillet on medium heat for about 3-4 minutes on each side until browned (but not burned!).  Next, transfer to a foil lined baking tray and finish in a 385 degree oven for 15-20 minutes.  Done!  Juicy, crispy, and delicious!  I'm guessing it would need to cook longer for chicken on the bone, but that's for another recipe.  Serve up and enjoy!  Take a look:

Southern fried boneless skinless chicken breast with what's left of the brussels sprouts (told you I couldn't stop eating them before the chicken was done).

Okay, so it's not classic southern fried chicken, but it is fried, it is chicken, and it was what I was in the mood for.  Plus, it's delicious, so go ugga-bugga yourself.

Popcorn for dinner tomorrow night, completely cheating, but it's a special occasion.  My friend Patrick Fabian is starring in the movie "The Last Exorcism," which premieres nation wide Friday night.  Hollywood is all about the opening weekend numbers, so if you're going to the movies this weekend, please try to see it!

The Last Exorcism

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Experiments in Snacking

Those of you who read the burger blog know that I was planning on trying to come up with a caveman replacement for french fries, everyone's favorite.  Last night I tried a recipe I found on-line for root veggie french fries.  I tried it with a turnip, the root veggie I feel tastes, and looks the most like a potato.  I just cut the turnip into french fry looking strips, and then lightly coated them in olive oil, and sprinkled on the Holy Trinity (black pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, amen).  Baked them in a 425 oven for 15 minutes, turning twice to avoid burning.  They came out looking and tasting good, but they weren't crispy.  They were like a bunch of soggy fries, which, let's face it, if served a plate of soggy fries in a diner, we'd complain, but being the fat bastards we are, we'd still eat the whole greasy plate.  Here, take a look at mine.  Don't let the purple skin of the turnip throw you.

This teaches me two things.  1) I have to get my friend Eva to photograph my food from now on, because she can make a shoe look appetizing.  And 2) I still need to find something to make them crispier.  I tried frying them a few months ago, and they came out even soggier, so at least I'm getting closer.  My friend Julie suggested I whisk up an egg white until it was bubbly, and them dip the slices in before baking, which will supposedly make them all crispy.  Well, I tried that today, with my buddy Brian as a guinea pig (yes, he's Italian, and he's a pig, but that's besides the point), but with rutabaga this time.  I thought they'd come out more like sweet potato fries, but all they became were hard slices, that wouldn't brown, with little bits of egg white clinging to them.  But being the fat bastards we are, we doused them in Caveman Ketchup and Mayo and ate the whole thing anyway.  Maybe if I coat them in a little arrowroot next time, they'll come out crispy (that's what I coat the onion rings in mostly, and they turn out great).  Anyway, I'm open to suggestions.

But one thing I did have some luck with was my Paleo PB&J (minus the P)!  A reader gave me a tip about Whole Foods brand Almond Butter, where the only ingredient is roasted organic almond.  So I mashed up some sweet strawberries and made a little snack.  Take a look:

Yummy!  Although almond butter on almond bread is a bit overkill.  But I can make that bread from any nut, I just happen to like the almond bread best because of the flavor.  Maybe I'll try it again one day with walnut bread.  Or maybe with pecan bread.  Or maybe you should just mind your own business and stop complaining Jeff, look how good that looks!  Okay, I'll stop, sorry.

Meanwhile, while shopping at Ralph's Grocery Store (like Key Food, or Waldbaum's for you Brooklynites) yesterday, I saw Amy Adams shopping (Oscar nominated actress from "Enchanted," "Doubt," "Julie & Julia").  When you live in LA, you get used to seeing celebs everywhere, especially in the grocery store.  She was in her workout clothes, no makeup and looked great!  Plus, she was shopping in the organic section!  A match made in produce!  I quickly scanned for a wedding ring, saw none, checked my reflection in a jar of tomatoes to see if my caveman hair was okay, and went over to talk to her.  My pick-up line was going to be something about me starting a food blog after seeing "Julie & Julia" (total bullshit) and then it would causally lead to me explaining the caveman diet, to her being fascinated by it, to me being witty and charming and inducing an oscar nominated laugh, and then her begging me to cook for her at my cave while I plan our marriage.  But that only happened in my head.  Because she was on the phone the whole time.  I pretended to shop in the produce section for way too long, but she was still talking.  I hate whoever invented the cell phone.  They should ban those in supermarkets, especially while I'm single.  I went on shopping, and every time I saw her in an isle, I pretended to shop down that row too, but she was still yappin' away (maybe she was the one pretending to avoid ME)!  Finally, after I had all my shopping done, I tried to track her down one more time, but she was headed to the seafood counter, still engrossed in her afternoon chat.  Was I really going to pretend to shop some more while she took god knows how long to order some farm raised salmon?  No.  I'm creepy, but not THAT creepy.  I paid for my groceries and went home, wondering if she got off the phone for the guy behind the seafood counter.  Not a very enchanting experience for me.  But she's the one that missed out on the home cooked organic meal, not me.  Well, if she ever gets off the phone, she knows where to find me.

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PICS!

Here are some pics from Henry's screening.  They were all taken by the incredibly talented Eva Fisher-Barrial!  Here's a link to her blog featuring more of her amazing photography (the pics are a lot bigger on her blog too, 'cause she has more room, so check them out):

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Me and Henry prepping!

Sliders!  The buns were rosemary almond flat bread.  The fixin's are in the background, but I don't see the homemade ketchup, mayo, or thousand island dressing.  I think I liked the thousand island more than the others, but I don't care, I'm gonna make it again soon, I thought it was yummy!

One slider with all the fixin's, including homemade ketchup.

This is the dipping sauce for the Coconut Shrimp.  Came out perfect!

Here's where the dipping sauce was in focus, but the Coconut Shrimp were blurred in the background, much like the actual taste of the dish.  Lol.

Eva made these look much more appetizing than they actually were.  I know a lot of the guests did like them, but trust me, it was a disaster.  I'll have to make them again without the lemon juice acid bath.

Cooking Onion Rings!  They came out great!

Mmmm, I'm gonna have to make these again soon for little ol' me.

Kale Chips.  A little underdone, but still yummy.

Date Wrapped Strawberries, Almonds, and Walnuts!  Don't make the strawberries a day ahead or they'll turn into a gooey (but still delicious) mess!  Didn't Eva make these look pretty?

Men, make these strawberries for your ladies!  They will love you for it!!!


So, the great catering experiment is over.  Don't know what to cook tonight or this week.  Don't even want to look at a kitchen, but I'll keep plugging away.  My friend Wendy wants me to try to caveman cook a traditional Rosh Hashana dinner, so maybe that'll be my next huge tackling project.  Rosh Hashana is the Jewish New Year, and this year the Jewish calendar will turn to year 5771 (I know I'll still be writing 5770 on my checks for the first two months).  Typically we eat brisket, which I love.  We'll see.  I'm a little intimidated by it all.  Plus, it's a lot of food for just me, I'll be eating leftovers until 5772!  My friend Shari and my sister Sherilyn have great traditional recipes, and my cousins David and Melanie have a killer recipe that has a little more BBQ flavor.  But I think I might do what I do every year... accept someone else's invitation to dinner!

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Catering is hard!  Started getting ready for my friend Henry's screening around 4.  As a reminder, here was the menu (all ingredients, all organic, all the time):

Coconut Shrimp
Grass Fed Beef Sliders
Kale Chips
Onion Rings
Date Wrapped Almonds, Walnuts, and Strawberries

I ground some extra almonds in case I needed them for the onion ring flour, and marinated the shrimp in lemon juice (a step I added because the first time I made them I thought the shrimp needed a little "something" extra).  Then I packed all the food up for travel to Henry and Eva's (pronounces her name like Ava Gardner).  Took out the date wrapped strawberries I made two days earlier, the one thing I KNEW would be the hit of the party, and my first disaster struck!  It was a gooey mess.  Apparently the sugar in the dates started breaking down the strawberries as if I were making preserves.  I tasted it, and it was still amazingly delicious, but unservable to guests.  So I left a little early and bought some more dates and strawberries at Whole Foods, and just made them as soon as I got there.  First disaster averted.  Notice I said "first."  You caught that, didn't you?  Wait... just wait.

Got to Henry and Eva's and the three of us munched on the old gooey strawberries and dates while Henry prepped the slider fixin's (shredding lettuce, slicing tomatoes and red onion), and I made the new dessert treats.  Their oldest boy, Jayden, an adorable four year old (I think he's four) was fascinated by everything, and I asked him if he wanted to taste something gooey and delicious.  He was all for gooey and strawberries, but took one look at the mess and changed his mind.  He had me cracking up all night.  Then he saw me putting out the sliced rosemary almond bread for the slider buns, and wanted to try one.  Me, being the wonderful Uncle I am to all the kids in my beach crew, was ready to oblige.  But Jayden, brilliantly remembering his parents' teachings, asked what was in it, and when I said almonds, he declined.  Turns out he's allergic to almonds!  Smart kid, huh!?  If he didn't ask, he might have eaten it, and would have had a terrible allergic reaction with his throat swelling up closed!  "Thanks for sending me to the emergency room, Uncle Jeffrey, you're the best!  ...Asshole."  Thank god, he was smarter than me.  Another disaster averted.

Put one tray of Kale Chips in the lower oven and one in the upper oven and started on the shrimp.  Immediately I got worried.  They were whitish in color, almost like they've been partially cooked.  I silently hoped they were just bleached by the lemon juice and started cooking them like I did the first batch I made last week.  The coconut oil was hot and ready, but the shrimp weren't browning like they did in the picture (see the Coconut Shrimp blog).  Plus, the coating was falling off.  They also seemed to cook a lot faster than the batter was browning.  I tasted one and it was like rubber!  There was no avoiding this disaster, it was coming, and I was helpless to stop it.  Note to anyone trying this recipe, DO NOT MARINATE BEFOREHAND!  I'm convinced this is what did it, since I did everything else the same from the first try.  It was 7pm now and the guests were starting to arrive as I was cooking the shrimp, and my first words to them weren't "hello," or "great seeing you again," but instead, "I fucked up the shrimp."  "Nice to see you too... Asshole.  Glad I skipped dinner for this."  Ouch.  Oh well, nothing I could do, they still had the other dishes to eat.  It was a shame, because the dipping sauce came out PERFECT!  Peaches, garlic, ginger, onion powder, cilantro, jalapeno, and honey.  I didn't even cook it, the tastes were electric!  But nothing to dip into.  A lonely little dipping sauce in search for an edible coconut shrimp.  Maybe I can write a kids book about it.  But my friend Jeff, who worked on a lot of cooking shows explained that even the best chefs go through hundreds of failed attempts before coming up with perfect recipes.  And since this was only my second attempt, I felt a lot better about butchering the dish.

I was determined NOT to screw up the onion rings, and I didn't!  They came out perfect.  I didn't see anyone dipping them into the thousand island dressing, but I was happy to see my buddy Jeff dipping them into the coconut shrimp sauce!  I'm glad it didn't go to waste.  The first batch of Kale Chips was a little underdone, but people seemed to like it, because it was all gone by the time I brought out the second tray.  By the way, as I took out the tray from the lower oven, Jayden ran past the scalding oven door while it sat open.  Thoughts of racing him to the burn ward in my car ran through my head.  But in addition to the kid being smarter than me, he's also more coordinated than me, and he avoided the door completely.  I quickly shut it before he had a chance to run back.  I don't know how you parents do it, I would be a worried mess ALL THE TIME.  I'm sorry Eva and Henry, I swear I never almost kill my godson Dash when I babysit for him!

Henry asked me to come over and explain about the menu, so I turned off the oven and brought the last of the onion rings over to the table with all the food.  Again, apologizing about the shrimp, people were being very kind, especially my friends Mike and Wendy who said they liked it.  Not sure if they were just being kind, but I appreciated it regardless.  I'm not sure people were really digging the sliders, but I know they appreciated that I made the buns, ketchup, mayo, thousand island dressing, etc.  And whether they liked it or not, they were very interested that an entire meal could be made without salt, sugar, grains, legumes, or anything fermented, like vinegar.  As I was explaining what was in the dipping sauce I noticed the entire kitchen was filling with smoke.  Turns out I forgot to turn off the burner on the frying pan full of sunflower oil from the onion rings.  Also, instead of turning the oven off, I turned it on HIGH.  "Thanks for burning down our kitchen Jeff, glad that Caveman bullshit is working out for you...  Asshole."  But Henry turned it all off, and opened up some windows, and no one died.

And of course they liked the date wrapped desserts.  Eva and Henry put them on a cake stand and presented them beautifully.  I saw Eva taking my stuff and arranging them on plates with amazing flair as she took professional pictures of everything (I'll put them up as soon as she sends them to me).  So the dessert and the onion rings were the stars, I would say the sliders were at least decent, the shrimp was such a disaster that Leonardo DiCaprio yelled "I'm King of the World" off its bow, and the Kale was underdone but eaten in it's entirety (maybe because they were starving from the lack of shrimp).  I'd have to give myself a C+ for my first catering attempt.

Then a blonde girl and her male companion showed up late.  Henry introduced me, but I didn't quite get their names.  She had read my blog though and had a million questions about the food.  She was a strict vegan, and didn't care for the shrimp or the sliders, so I offered her some onion rings.  She didn't eat fried food, and wasn't a fan of almonds either, which I used in the batter.  I offered her some Kale Chips, but she didn't want any because they were drizzled with olive oil and she wasn't a fan of oily things.  She was considering the date wrapped desserts, but wasn't in a rush to try any.  In her defense, she did say she's been driving her parents crazy with her fussiness since birth.  Her male companion also seemed fascinated by the whole diet and was very inquisitive as well.  He seemed to like the slider.  After hearing all the ingredients in the vegan items she wouldn't try the ketchup, or the thousand island dressing.  But she perked up when I told her about the dipping sauce for the coconut shrimp.  She dipped a tomato slice into the sauce, tasted it, and simply said, "Interesting..."  I don't know if it was me, my food, my breath, if I wounded her puppy in another life, if she was anti-semetic, or whatever, but I could not please her.  But I don't care about any of that, because SHE WAS SMOKING HOT!!!  I would cook for her any damn way she wanted me to, no almonds, no oil, no flavor, no air, whatever it takes, I'm all in, just get me her number, Henry!  I'm praying her male companion was either her brother, or her gay buddy.

I didn't get to say goodbye to anyone because the screening was starting and they were ushered into the screening room.  I had already seen the movie, so I packed up and headed home.  Believe me, I was thankful for someone else doing the clean up for a change.  I was really glad I tried such an ambitious project, and honored Henry asked me to try, but I'm not sure I would do it again.  But it was great seeing some of my beach friends with clothes on for a change, and we always have a lot of laughs when we get together.  If people try the diet, or at least try making the ketchup, great, if not, oh well, good health isn't for everybody.  I'm just glad Jayden survived.

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P.S. - One of my buddies found this great book that takes Caveman Dieting to the next level.  If you're doing this diet strictly for weight loss, I highly recommend it.  It's all about seasonal eating, and why cavemen ate fruit in the summer, so that they could gain weight and survive winter!  This stuff is really fascinating.  Nature is an amazing thing.  Here's a link if you're interested.  Ugga-Bugga!

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When you're unemployed, it's always the weekend!

So my friend Henry, an extremely talented director, is having a small screening of his latest movie at his house this Sunday, so he can get some feedback from some friends and colleagues (I saw an earlier cut, the film is great!) before finalizing his film.  Henry and his beautiful wife Eva (a great photographer as well as a great actress) have been huge supporters of my blog, and I was honored when Henry asked if I would mind making some Caveman appetizers for the get together, instead of serving pizza, chips, or the usual fare.  Being in between jobs (careers?), I have nothing but time on my hands, so I jumped at the chance to cook some finger food for a dozen or so people.

We decided on a menu the other night, and today was all about shopping, and prep work, so that once Sunday night comes, almost all the work is done already.  The menu includes some old favorites, and some recently new experiments.  Henry took one look at the Coconut Shrimp photo, and wanted that one as a definite.  Next, those onion rings from last night!  I already had two salads with the thousand island dressing after tweaking the recipe a little bit, it's outrageous!  I'm also making the Kale Chips.  Not sure if I talked about them in the blog, or on Facebook, but it's easy, crispy and delicious.  Kale leaves drizzled with olive oil and the Holy Trinity (black pepper, garlic powder, onion powder), baked at 350 for 20 minutes.  Makes you feel like you're eating potato chips.  And finally, Sliders! Not sure how ambitious I want to get with the fixin's, but even if it's just the mini-burger on rosemary bread, and Caveman Condiments, I think it'll make a great snack.

Four dishes total, one beef, one shrimp, and two purely vegan, in case we have people with freaky eating habits (he said as he wrote his freaky eating habit blog).  Plus, some dessert!  Recently I have discovered the Date.  So friggin' good!  And despite being super sweet, they have less sugar than honey!  To me, they taste like caramel.  So I wrapped dates around almonds and walnuts for little sweet bites.  But the highlight of the night will be this item I conceived while watching "The Next Food Network Star."  I try to play along at home, as if I were competing with my Cooking Caveman show (which plays nightly in my head).  One of the contestants had to create a dish inspired by romance.  I immediately thought of chocolate covered strawberries, and started to think of a caveman friendly substitute.  So I wrapped dates around fresh strawberries, and they look and taste like caramel dipped strawberries!  My friend Julie and I had one the other night as a test.  Oh yes.  Oh yes.  I chose wisely!  Lord, I know I'm single and unattached now, but PLEASE let me have a little hottie to feed these to come February 14th!  Instant score!!!!!

I spent today shopping, and then wrapping dates around the goodies (they'll keep well in the fridge until Sunday night... I hope), making the ketchup, mayo, tweaking the thousand island until it was perfect, making the rosemary bread, and pre-cooking the sliders rare, so that when I reheat them Sunday night in the microwave, they'll be cooked perfectly.  Tomorrow morning I have to get some stuff at the Burbank Farmer's Market and make a new batch of the dipping sauce for the Coconut Shrimp, and then the rest can be cooked before the guests arrive Sunday night.  Whew!  I hope I get a real job soon, I'm friggin' exhausted!  But there is something wonderful about spending all this time cooking.  It's a good feeling, almost zen, like gardening.  It sucks I'm unemployed, but a blessing I have the time to do something I love.  I won't bother taking pictures now, Eva is a pro, so I'll let her photograph the food on Sunday night herself.  Tune in Monday to see how it all turned out.

Speaking of dipping sauce, all this cooking is making me hungry, so let's feed this Caveman, and use up the last of the old batch of dipping sauce.  As a reminder, I made it to go with the Coconut Shrimp by throwing 3 peaches, 1 jalapeno, 2 cloves of garlic, a healthy spoonful of honey, grated ginger, and onion powder into a blender, and it was so good, I didn't even need to cook it (but I did heat it up a little).  Well, tonight we're going to use it to glaze chicken wings!  Remember, make sure it says ORGANIC, because free range chicken could mean a lot of nasty things, but by law, chickens labeled organic are happy hens, right up to the point where they're slaughtered and I devour their carcasses (which makes for happy Cavemen).  Just going to marinate the wings in the sauce for a few hours, and then roast them in the oven for an hour at 350, over a bed of sliced rutabaga (drizzled with olive oil and the Holy Trinity).  The sweet sauce will drip down with the good chicken fat and cook those yummy root veggies perfectly!

I'm also going to attempt to deep fry some spinach again.  I saw this on "Best Thing I Ever Ate" (another Food Network favorite show of mine), and it looked fascinating.  The chef served it over veggie lasagna, part decoration, partly to add crunchy texture to the dish.  I tried it the other day, and came close, so hopefully I'll come a little closer tonight.  Okay, just tossed the spinach into the oil.  Note to self: run from the stove the second the spinach hits the oil, and keep skin graft specialist's phone number handy.  Scalded skin aside, it's friggin' delicious!  Dark green and beautiful.  Hit them with a little Holy Trinity and you're done.  Crazy, but to me, it tastes like potato chips (much like Kale Chips)!  Not sure they work as a side dish though, they would have to be part of a bigger dish, something moist, because they're so dry.  Something like... veggie lasagna.  Duh.

The whole meal is cooking now, can you smell it?  Mmmm.  I wish you could.  The chicken is going to be scrum-dilly-icious!

Okay, it's ready, thanks for waiting (if only real cooking was this quick).  Take a look:

Caveman Like?  Yes, Caveman like.  When I was a kid, we always had chicken on Friday night (it's a Jew thing, even though if you remember last Friday I made pork chops, so shhh, don't tell the rabbi), and when I think to make chicken on Fridays, it reminds me of my grandmother, which is a nice feeling.  She did all the cooking in our house.  Food was a huge part of our relationship, and despite the fact she never cooked with jalapeno, I still feel connected to her with this meal.  And I'm sure if she were alive today, she'd smile and say to me, "Ugga-Bugga."  Only she'd say it in Yiddish.


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